Trying to live one day at the time
Hi guys, I didn't planed this post for today but I feel the need to write about it.
For about on month I was living in my bubble, and today it POP.
Since my kids were here I've been living in their house, I been here for about 3 weeks, I think I accepted because this house is a reminds me of my past, when I felt that my life had a routine and I felt in one sense complete, and also because of course I love this family very much, but 2 years has passed in I'm feeling kind of stuck, and now I don't know what to do.
For about quite time also I've been living about the saying "one day at the time" that's means, I won't be worry for the tomorrow or future and "as it came as we see", that was working till now, yesterday I found out that I can't pay for my studies in Spain, at least this year, and here there's no airplane tickets for anywhere, and also there's not job in Spain, so the odds are against me, I'm not giving up, but I'm losing my hopes to go again.
Once again my bosses told me to go with them, but I'm not sure if they are sure about it, I've been talking to them for the past weeks and the subject never come up, so I'm not sure where I am.
GOD'S PLAN
I think that everything happen for a reason, EVERYTHING, and it has to do with the destiny and God, I truly believe that God has a plan for me, and what have to happen it will happen, I'm not saying that we just have to sit and wait, we have to fight for what we want, and if is in God's plan it will happen, and if not, it won't.
I'm saying this because this year in March when I didn't planned go to Spain, only took 2 months for everything to happen, when I went I felt the necessity to go, and everything just happen, I didn't force anything, but now everything and against me, and I feel that I have to fight A LOT.
Thinking on that, I'm not worry about my future, maybe my destiny is staying in Venezuela, maybe is Spain, maybe is The USA, maybe is china, O don't know I just have to trust and wait.
But knowing that doesn't make me feel better, at least today.
I'm really making progress, last year when this happened,(because last year happen almost the same) I got depressed, but now I'm accepting the fact that Maybe my life is in here, in Venezuela and that I have to trust in God and in his plan.
Today I'm feeling, SAD, angry, disappointed, hopeless, I just want to cry and laying down, and just don't do nothing, not think, do no worry, just be.
Right now I wanna go home and cry and cry, I don't know if because of my hormones (probably) or it just that today hit me, or because I feel like I'm not starting to LIVE. really I don't know, for now I just going to watch tv and relax, I'll try to not think about it, and hope for a better day tomorrow.
Sorry for the sad post, But I needed to put it out!!
For about on month I was living in my bubble, and today it POP.
Since my kids were here I've been living in their house, I been here for about 3 weeks, I think I accepted because this house is a reminds me of my past, when I felt that my life had a routine and I felt in one sense complete, and also because of course I love this family very much, but 2 years has passed in I'm feeling kind of stuck, and now I don't know what to do.
For about quite time also I've been living about the saying "one day at the time" that's means, I won't be worry for the tomorrow or future and "as it came as we see", that was working till now, yesterday I found out that I can't pay for my studies in Spain, at least this year, and here there's no airplane tickets for anywhere, and also there's not job in Spain, so the odds are against me, I'm not giving up, but I'm losing my hopes to go again.
Once again my bosses told me to go with them, but I'm not sure if they are sure about it, I've been talking to them for the past weeks and the subject never come up, so I'm not sure where I am.
GOD'S PLAN
I think that everything happen for a reason, EVERYTHING, and it has to do with the destiny and God, I truly believe that God has a plan for me, and what have to happen it will happen, I'm not saying that we just have to sit and wait, we have to fight for what we want, and if is in God's plan it will happen, and if not, it won't.
I'm saying this because this year in March when I didn't planned go to Spain, only took 2 months for everything to happen, when I went I felt the necessity to go, and everything just happen, I didn't force anything, but now everything and against me, and I feel that I have to fight A LOT.
Thinking on that, I'm not worry about my future, maybe my destiny is staying in Venezuela, maybe is Spain, maybe is The USA, maybe is china, O don't know I just have to trust and wait.
But knowing that doesn't make me feel better, at least today.
I'm really making progress, last year when this happened,(because last year happen almost the same) I got depressed, but now I'm accepting the fact that Maybe my life is in here, in Venezuela and that I have to trust in God and in his plan.
Today I'm feeling, SAD, angry, disappointed, hopeless, I just want to cry and laying down, and just don't do nothing, not think, do no worry, just be.
Right now I wanna go home and cry and cry, I don't know if because of my hormones (probably) or it just that today hit me, or because I feel like I'm not starting to LIVE. really I don't know, for now I just going to watch tv and relax, I'll try to not think about it, and hope for a better day tomorrow.
Sorry for the sad post, But I needed to put it out!!
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