The Ugly truth

Hi guys, sorry if you want a happy, cheerful, and funny post, please come back another day, today I'll be keeping it real, VERY REAL.

For the first time on my life I'm feeling like a need professional help, I'm not happy and I want to be happy again, I know part of my problem is being here in pikychaqui with Mimi, but it is a little part, I know what is wrong, I know why I am so unhappy right now, and for that I need help, coming back home it would help but it won't solve all my problems... for first time in my life I feel so miserable, I can't describe what is going on in me head and how bad I'm feeling, I'm not depressed, I am just unhappy, and isn't my hormones this time.

Mimi is acting so kind and sweet this week, but I know it is because my boss was here and she was happy, but I also know that she is going to change again and I don't want to be near her when she does, she isn't a bad person at all, it just that she has a VERY strong personality and sometimes we get along and sometimes we don't, also is because the lack of communications between us, she is/was thinking a thing about me that it's wrong, and I didn't clarify her because is something between my bosses and I.

So part of my misery is her, I know it sound SO BAD, I promise she isn't a monster, I still appreciate her, and when she is nice I enjoy her company but my big problem is that I feel stuck, I'm doing NOTHING, just waiting for another people, and I promised myself I wasn't going to do it again (wait for other people to help me) but I'm doing it right now, I'm so desperate to leave Venezuela, and That's is the root of all my problems, I know that.

So I'm going to find help, because I want to be HAPPY with my life no matter where I live or what I'm doing, I have to learn how to be happy again, going home is going to be my first step, find help my second, and then I hope to find the peace and happiness that I miss so much, I want to enjoy life again.

So why if I'm so unhappy still in pikychaqui? I'm still stuff to do, I was thinking leaving next Monday but I'm thinking that maybe this Friday would be the day, even tomorrow could be the day.

I think I never haven't been more open than this, but I needed it to write down and I needed to express myself, and this help me A LOT.



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